Getting To the Point

Let’s just get right to the point:

I’m beginning to think that women and girls are completely oblivious to the feelings and tendencies of men and boys.  We in the male population have certain likings and dislikings when it comes to the opposite sex.  Our preferences are rooted deeply in our character and our very makeup (and not the kind that you put on your face in the morning).  Too often, these preferences go overlooked and unrealized.
Allow me to enlighten you:

First, men are not interested in kissing, smooching, lip-smacking, spit-swapping, or any other sort of passionate nonsense.  We do not fancy sexual advances or touching.  It scares us.  We are fragile and delicate beings.  Instead, we prefer more gentle approaches to intimacy such as cuddling, hand-holding, side hugs, and the occasional peck on the cheek (for when we are feeling extra spunky).
Second, men cannot stand tight clothing.  We cannot bear to look upon a low-cut shirt or short shorts.  Our gentle hearts ache when we catch a glimpse of a mini-skirt or a see-through top.  It’s gross and unattractive.  One might even go as far as to say “yucky.”  Instead, we are much more interested in baggy sweat pants and plain old oversized t-shirts.  We would prefer no makeup and dirty, unfixed hair.  Imagining it now even brings a smile to my face.
Third, men HATE being flirted with or teased.  When girls talk in a sexy tone or gently caress our bulging biceps, we feel a sense of disgust.  We can’t handle it.  Instead, we would rather have a good healthy belch or nagging tone every now and again to keep us on our toes.  We prefer a girl with little interest in admiring us or our bulging biceps. That’s just the way we feel.
Let’s stop right there.  If you are either smiling or laughing at this point in the article and you realize the complete nonsense of the paragraphs you have just finished reading, then you may also begin to realize the difficult position in which the female population finds themselves.  The very fact that one may read the above and immediately realize their falsehood is a testimony to the fact that the female population very obviously knows the basics of what turns a man on and what turns a man away.  If we understand this and desire at all to live in harmony with God’s will for sexual purity and in a guilt-free relationship with our boyfriend or fiancé then we must realize our responsibility to help control the flame of sexuality in a male partner with the choices that we make. Choices of clothing, choices of speech, choices of physical contact, choices of alone time, choices of hangouts, etc.

1 Thess. 4:3-6 says “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified [made holy]: that you should avoid sexual immorality [fornication, adultery and others]; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him.”

We need to stop asking “how much is too much” or “how far is too far?” A far better question to ask would be “How can I HONOR GOD with my physical relationships?”

When God finished each piece of creation in Genesis, he finished by saying “it is good.”  God determines what is and is not “good.”  For sexuality, he has determined that only context in which it is good is marriage.  However, a word very closely associated with “good” in our culture is the word “love.”  When you tell a guy you love them, what does that mean?  Is it fair to agree that part of love is wanting the best for them?  I think so.  But if so, we must decide what is “best.”  Here’s an English lesson: “best” is a superlative and it is the highest form of the word “good.”  Good, better, best.  So if we want the best for them, we want for them the “highest good.”  And who determines what is good?  God!  So is it fair to say that loving a guy and wanting the best for him is wanting what God wants for him?  If so, we have to draw the line in our relationships between thinking that we love someone by giving our body to them or allowing them to take from our body whatever they wish to take and exercising real love by refusing that position because it’s what God wants for us and the other person.  Guys need help to exercise self-control.  A LOT of help.  A very helpful practice in all relationships outside of making the right clothing and behavior choices that will ease lust is praying and talking.  We need honesty and openness about the fact that you want to help the guy we are with to succeed spiritually and that we want his help for our own spiritual success as well.
Another side of the coin exists on this issue: guys can often be pressuring.  They can be very assertive in order to get want they want when they are thinking with their hormones and not their head.  A large population of girls and women fall prey to the guilt trips given to them by the guy that they are with.  BUT YOU ARE NEVER TO FEEL BAD FOR NOT ALLOWING THE GUY YOU ARE WITH TO DESTROY HIS SOUL AND YOURS.  It just doesn’t work that way.
Try imitating Michelle.  She is a very determined young lady with no intention of ever letting a guy guilt her into any form a sexual activity.  Observe the following REAL conversation:    

Guy: "REAL men are sexually active.”
Michelle: "So is my REAL dog."
Guy: "If you loved me, you’d let me."
Michelle: "If you loved me, you wouldn’t ask."
Guy: "But I want to."
Michelle: "But I don’t!"
Guy: "Everybody’s doing it."
Michelle: "Not true. I’m somebody, and I’m not doing it!"
Guy: "Have you ever done it?"
Michelle: "Have you ever made the wonderful discovery of knowing Jesus Christ?"
Guy: "Don’t you love me?"
Michelle: "Yeah, But I love God more."
Guy: "I won’t get you pregnant."
Michelle: "That’s right, because you aren’t going to touch me."
Guy: "If you won’t let me, I’ll find someone who will."
Michelle: "It was nice knowing you.”      (and my personal favorite part of the conversation)
Guy: “But you owe me!"
Michelle: "Okay, I’ll get you a key chain or something." 

A lot of Christians fall into the trap of trying to gauge “how far is too far” by setting specific, measurable rules for what we should and shouldn’t touch and how many inches is too short on a dress, etc. Rules have their place and value but one point on this needs to be made clear: Christianity is about LIVING, not about RULES. It has more to do with our mindset than perhaps with our ability to keep a list of specific sexuality guidelines.
Matt 5:28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’  But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Is committing adultery wrong – yes, Jesus upholds the position of the law, but He says, don’t just limit it to an act of not doing something.  What is important is your attitude. What is in your heart?  Are you trying to figure out how much you can get away with?  Or are you trying to please God?
The question “How far is too far?” anticipates FAILURE.  When we ask this sort of question we focus on failing.  We are trying to push the envelope and we only know we have gone too far when it is too late.  I’m picturing the coyote and road runner now.  How far can he push the limits before he ends up over the cliff?  Is this too far?  No.  Is this too far?  Nope.  Is this too far?  Yep – but it’s too late!!  We need to stop asking “how much is too much” or “how far is too far?”  A far better question to ask would be “How can I HONOR GOD with my physical relationships?”   Or “how can I make sure that I’m doing everything I possibly can to make self-control easier on the guy that I am with?”

Jeremy Hall is a 22 year old from Tom Bean Texas.  He is living in Henderson, TN with wife Sarah.  He currently works at FHU as Retention Coordinator and is working towards a Masters in New Testament. He love directing, composing, writing, and drinking Mountain Dew.

Bored With Life by Caleb Capshaw

I’ve felt it. Chances are you’ve felt it too. Life’s gotten boring. Stale. Stopped.  It’s like everyday you get up to do the exact same thing with no end in sight. You wake up everyday, do a similar routine as the day before, and then go back to bed.  You want to know how to get out of this. You want to know how to put the excitement of living back in your life again. Because inside we all know there is more to living than just breathing.

   God made us to grow.  Growth is the thing that allows us to progress in this life.  It starts when we are born and should continue to happen until we die, but sometimes it feels like we stop growing and begin to feel as though we are wasting away.  So how do we grow? We set goals and accomplish them. Goals that will challenge us and take us to our limits, so we can then expand our limits further.

   The goals we set for ourselves often are just empty words. Humans have the bad tendency of giving up on something they don’t really care about at the first sign of adversity. However, the growth we experience in life is not displayed by the words of our mouths but the manifestations of our hearts. The things that our hearts desire to accomplish are the things that define us most. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”  So, the things that our heart desires the most are the things we find the most motivation to accomplish.

    As I have said in other notes, to do things it is important to understand that you are in control and capable, and also to have a positive attitude as to not defeat yourself. God gave us the blessing of free will.  I call it a blessing because being able to control our own outcomes in life is one of the most joyful things he could’ve given us. “Being effective-changing things, influencing things, making things happen-is one of the fundamental needs with which the human brain seem to be naturally endowed, and much of our behavior from infancy onward is simply an expression of this penchant for control…The fact is that human beings come into the world with a passion for control, they go out of the world the same way, and research suggests that if they lose their ability to control things at any point between their entrance and exit, they become unhappy, helpless, hopeless, and depressed. And occasionally dead.”

   I say all this about controlling our own life and setting goals because chances are most of the people reading them will have a common goal in life, and that is to be the best Christian we can be and to get heaven.  1 Corinthians 9:24-27 says, “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.”  We have to set specific goals to help us to improve our Christians lives. Some long term and some short term.  We cannot run without a distance to run. And we cannot box as to fight air. And just the same, we cannot live to serve God without setting our actions and goals in life to that purpose.

   So if you want life to feel like it means something again. If you want to feel like you aren’t living the same day over and over. If you want to live like you are becoming closer to the person God made you to be everyday.  Then recognize the main goal He has set for our lives. A goal that’s when met will be like nothing you could’ve ever imagined.

The Power of a Positive Attitude by Caleb Capshaw

“The mind is the battleground. It is the place where the biggest conflict is. It is wearing you down. Half of the things you thought were gonna happen never did happen. But if you allow those thoughts to dwell in your mind it will succeed in robbing you of your peace, robbing you of your joy, robbing you of your life, just because you thought yourself into a nervous breakdown.  You thought yourself into depression. You thought yourself into defeatism. The warfare is in your mind. It’s not in your checkbook.  It’s not in your savings account. It’s not in your job. The fight that you’ve got to fight is in your mind.” 

            This is a speech I heard recently that has made me ask myself several questions lately.  What kind of fights am I fighting with in my mind?  Am I fighting the fights that God wants me to fight?  Or am I just letting the negativity of my own mind weigh me down and discourage me from fighting the good fight at all? What are the things that are hindering me from having this attitude to always win these fights?

            I am a strong believer in the power of a positive attitude.   He who thinks he can and he who thinks he can’t…are both normally right.  So many times in life it seems we just let one small obstacle in our path send us spiraling down in a negative direction.  We let our minds runaway and with that comes feelings of sadness, when really there is nothing to even be sad about.  God blesses us all beyond measure everyday, but yet we let small things make us lose our grip on the big picture.

           One of the greatest blessings and abilities God has given us is the power to direct and focus our mind upon a task.  Whatever the mind feeds upon, the mind attracts to you.  What are we focused on?  Are we focused on doing God’s will?  If we are then we know what the battles are we have to win in our head are.  The question is…why aren’t we winning them? 

           One of the biggest reasons I hear that people have trouble with is just thinking that they can’t do something. I believe that to be one of the biggest tools Satan uses against us.   Making us think that we can’t.  That we aren’t good enough. That we shouldn’t even bother making an attempt, because it’s just going to end in failure anyways.  Luckily for us as Christians, God has given us tons of verses to reassure us that not only can we win the battles we face, but he wants to help us win them.             

           In conclusion, we need to have a positive attitude in life.   We need to know that we were made to glorify God and accomplish His will.  We need to understand that we can win the fights that we face every second of every day against ourselves

Does God Tell Us to Do or Try? By Caleb Capshaw

I hate the word ‘Try’.  Try is a word that limits us. Try is a word that points out to us that there a large probability of failure.  Try is something  that keeps us from going all out.  Most people would say that “God doesn’t want us to be perfect, He just wants us to try.”  And while there is a lot of truth to this statement I feel like it can kind of lighten the gravity of our own failures.  James 1:22 says, “But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.”  It says to be doers.  Not triers (I don’t even think that’s a real word).  God commands us to do things.  The Bible isn’t filled with phrases like “Try to love your neighbors.” Or “Try to not envy.” Or “Try to not murder.”  God gives us direct commands, not suggestions. 

            There is a huge difference in trying and doing something.  If I were to tell you to try and move a wall, you could walk up to it and give it a quick push and say you tried, even though it didn’t budge.  However, if you decided to move the wall, you would probably come up with a plan of action, get the right tools, and move the wall.  Then only question would be where do you want to put the wall. When we have failures in doing God’s will a lot of times we find ourselves saying “Well, I tried and I just couldn’t do it.”  Sometimes I feel like this our own way of comforting ourselves.  This relieves us because it makes us think God expected that to happen already.  However, if we think when we mess up like, “I didn’t do what God told me to do.”  Then it puts a bit more seriousness on us to do something about it. So I guess in conclusion what I’m trying to say is God expects us to do His will for him. Not try to do it.

Why Are We So... Predictable? By Caleb Sams

Later today, if I go to sleep, I'll wake up in my comfy bed, on my sheets, ill turn my fan off and click the alarm off on my phone. Ill turn my lights on. Ill take a long warm shower. Ill brush my teeth. Ill put on fairly nice clothes, maybe to me at least. Ill get in a car, with air conditioning and a radio. Ill drive to church. There in we will have comfortable seats. Lighted rooms, air conditioning. It's a fifth Sunday, so we'll have a fellowship meal around these parts. There will be hard backed song books,  but most likely a power point. Our Lord's Supper will be fresh bread and refrigerated grape juice. The people will all be dressed up and smell nice. There feet will be covered. A roof over our heads. We will praise God, we will pray. We will learn. Worship will definitely occur. So what's wrong?

The Man we are serving, the Son we are praising had no place to lay His head.

We rationalize that "middle-class" isn't wealthy. That we struggle to pay bills. While those bills give us homes and electricity so we can safely watch our monday night football. We get haircuts and eat out. Our money is used so simply and so swiftly that we forget the poor.

What if we worshiped unpredictably.

What if we sacrificed comfy seats for metal chairs. And the difference, went to the poor.

What if we opened the doors and the windows? and the money for light went to the homeless.

What if we prepared meals, instead of for ourselves, for the hungry.

What if we shopped at good will. and gave our American Eagle to the naked.

What if we slept on the ground, and let the restless use our beds.

What if the church that claims to follow Christ actually started to look like Him?

We follow an American dream. To hell. We as christians find it acceptable to be comfortable. To be, happy. 

Why am i not hated? by the world? Why am I not persecuted?

Jesus said I would be. Did He lie? 

No.

I missed it. 

I got it wrong. 

Complete discipleship isn't what I want it to be. It's honestly the opposite. I HAVE to suffer. It's a requirement. 

Can we start being unpredictable? Please. For our sake? For the World's?

We are the last line of defense. From God's wrath. And we are so selfish that we keep the best for ourselves. We serve a God that died for us, and we live like we deserve what we have. 

The Prayer You Need to Pray Now

PRAY THIS EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!!IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE. I started not to do this, but as I read it....I understood God to say, 'You need a miracle tomorrow ' so here goes....Prov. 29:25 

You never know
when God is going to bless you!!
Good things happen when
you least expect them to !!!!!!!!

Dear Lord, I thank You for this day,
I thank You for my being able to see
and to hear this morning.

I ' m blessed because You are
a forgiving God and
an understanding God.

You have done so much for me
and You keep on blessing me.
Forgive me this day for everything
I have done, said or thought
that was not pleasing to you... 

I ask now for Your forgiveness..
Please keep me safe
from all danger and harm. 
Help me to start this day
with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.

Let me make the best of each and every day
to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.. 
Please broaden my mind
that I can accept all things.

Let me not whine and whimper
over things I have no control over.
And give me the best response
when I ' m pushed beyond my limits. 

I know that when I can' t pray,
You listen to my heart.
Continue to use me to do Your will.
Continue to bless me that I may be
a blessing to others.

Keep me strong that I may help the weak...
Keep me uplifted that I may have
words of encouragement for others.

I pray for those that are lost
and can' t find their way.
I pray for those that are misjudged
and misunderstood..I pray for those who
don' t know You intimately..

I pray for those that don' t believe.
But I thank You that I believe
that God changes people and
God changes things.

I pray for all my sisters and brothers.
For each and every family member
in their households.

I pray for peace, love and joy
in their homes; that they are out of debt
and all their needs are met.

I pray that every eye that reads this
knows there is no problem, 
circumstance, or situation greater than God.

Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. 
I pray that these words be received
into the hearts of every eye that sees it .
In Jesus most Holy and Precious name Amen!

Just repeat this phrase and see how God moves!!
God I love you and I need you, come into my heart, please..

I hope that this helps you as much as it has helped me!

Life is so Good! and God is so Great! No matter what is going on in this life! James 1:2-4

Are you living the life a Christian?

Heaven as written by a 17 Year Old Boy
This is excellent and really gets you thinking about what will happen in Heaven.
17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he later told his father, Bruce. It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote." It also was the last.
Brian's parents had forgotten about the essay when a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's locker at Teays Valley High School in Pickaway County 

Brian had been dead only hours, but his parents desperately wanted every piece of his life near them, notes from classmates and teachers, and his homework. Only two months before, he had handwritten the essay about encountering Jesus in a file room full of cards detailing every moment of the teen's life. But it was only after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized that their son had described his view of heaven.
It makes such an impact that people want to share it. "You feel like you are there," Mr. Moore said. Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted. 

The Moore 's framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy for Brian... I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him.

Here is Brian's essay entitled
"The Room."
Page 1
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.
As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards.. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at."

Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents Often there were many more cards than expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived....

Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting.. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me.

One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards.
But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused.. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand..
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried.. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him... Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response.. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes.
Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, and so alive.
The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

If you feel the same way forward it to as many people as you can so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also. My "People I shared the gospel with" file just got bigger, how about yours?

IF THERE IS ONE EMAIL THAT I HAVE READ THAT NEEDS TO GO AROUND THE WORLD, IT IS THIS ONE, PLEASE PASS THIS TO EVERY ONE YOU KNOW, CHRISTIAN OR NOT! "LET'S FILL OUR OWN FILE CARD" AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

You don't have to share this with anybody, no one will know whether you did or not, but you will know and so will He.

"We should fear God (Matthew 10:28); We should love God